Crunch Time!

Hello Train on Main crew, it is time again to put things in perspective. Find a goal, think, prepare, organize, practice, follow-through. At least that’s how I like to do things…

Except that this time I screwed it up and fell off the (diet) band wagon a few weeks back and am now facing a decision I made 4 months ago. So, like, panic.

Ok. Reload. Got the goal: Lose 30 Lbs for the competition in a month. Ok. Think. How we gonna do this. Seriously, how the hell do you lose 30 lbs in 30 days?

I’ll show you. The same way you approach every goal, with dedication.

Exercise √ Lean protein √ Healthy fats √ 

When it comes to rapid fat loss (which is easier than you may think when you have a goal in mind that you really want to achieve), you need to make some hard, disciplined choices. Working out for 3 hours a day like an athlete is great and it will make you strong and fit and healthy and beautiful. On it’s own, however, it’s not going to do the trick (‘specially if we’re on the clock, as it were). You want to lose fat? You have to stop eating all the delicious garbage we’re all surrounded by every day. You’ve all heard it, “well, I try to eat healthy.” Really? done any research? know what will work and what won’t? Most people have an idea in their heads of what constitutes “eating healthy” and it’s probably wrong. Also, what are you trying to achieve? There are plenty of diet plans out there and a lot of them have merit, but you need to choose your goal before you choose a way to eat. In the interest of not writing a 500 page reference manual, our goal for now will be rapid fat loss, in a healthy, sustainable manner. Now, there’s a bunch of ways to do this, but 2 stick out. Slow carb diet and Ketogenic cycling. The cycling takes a lot of planning and prep and it’s frigging hard to stay on it for any length of time. It’s also tough to explain, so if you’d like to know more, then Google “Ketogenic.” So let’s check out Slow Carb. It’s very simple to explain and it’s fairly easy to stay on it, once you get over the Ben & Jerry’s withdrawal. Here it is (drum roll please) MEAT, BEANS and VEG. That’s pretty much it.

The bulk of your food is protein. It makes you feel full and it doesn’t get stored as fat if you’re even the least bit active.

Eat your protein with some beans. Beans being legumes, but when asked what a legume is, most people get a little foggy. Like, a lentil is a legume and you can eat it, but a chickpea is a pulse, and you can’t eat it. So stick to beans and you’ll be fine. Eat canned beans (not Heinz beans, tasty, but WAY too much sugar) it’s way easier, unless you love to cook. Just remember to soak those dried beans for a couple hours and then rinse them before cooking or you won’t get invited to any parties..

Eat as many vegetables as you want, but go green for the most part, as the vegetables of colour such as carrots and bell peppers contain a fair amount of sugar.

That’s 2 sugar references. What’s the deal? The deal is no damn sugar. Or any other white food that can be considered a starch (flour, sugar, potatoes, stuff like that). Look what happened to Oprah when she stopped eating white food. Dropped it all in the span of a month. It’s OK, you eat too much bread anyway. Look at all the wheat/gluten “sensitivities” cropping up these days. Naturopathic doctors have been telling us for years that we eat way to much wheat, let’s face it. it’s not human food. It needs to be processed for it to be edible. You think Thag of the cave with the big rock in front of it ever had a hamburger, or a plate of fussilli in a Parmagiano Regiano cream reduction with grilled salmon, deep fried basil and candied lemons and a nice big hunk of fresh focaccia bread drizzled with olive oil and 25 year old balsamic vinegar? Of course not. He ate the damn fish raw, with his hands and his face. It’s how we evolved. A word about fruit. Subject of contention. There’s a lot of fructose in fruit, and this will inhibit fat loss, but it’s also really good for you. Your call. Bear in mind, however, that in Canada, we ain’t supposed to have fruit all year long anyway. It only grows here for 2-3 months out of the year. Our ancestors somehow made it through. 

One more thing. EAT BREAKFAST. and eat it within a half hour to an hour after waking up. You can eat whole eggs and bolster their protein with egg whites. dump a bunch of salsa on them. That’s your go-to sauce. Add some tomatoes and/or avocado and a couple rashers of turkey bacon. Good stuff. The point is to load protein at the start of the day. Kick-starts everything. For older people, getting a lot of protein straight away in the morning is actually better for them than eating it throughout the day. Breakfast is important. Eat it.

Here’s the good part, and the reason that you CAN do this diet and stay on it. 1)you can drink red wine (yay!)                                                                       2)pick a day of the week and eat whatever and however much of it you want. Binge day, no kidding. 47 beers and 9 trips to McDonalds. Like that. (my idea, load up on fruit)                                                                                                      3)as added motivation, when you wake up on cheat day, take a picture of yourself in the mirror. When it seems like nothing is happening, look at your pictures in sequence. Totally prep for your picture, do a bunch of pushups to get pumped, do your make-up, whatever makes you feel like sexy-time. I swear to God, it sounds ridiculous, but you’ll look forward to picture day and you’ll be less likely to cheat.

I like to look and feel good, I like to never catch a cold, I love to be injury free! 10% body fat isn’t for all of us. This is competition time, and to get there I’ll probably need to go a little further than most people are willing to go, but I think that if you really ask yourself what you want, it’s probably something along the lines of visible results for all this hard ass work you’re doing down at the gym; so go ahead. Strip off the layers of North American fat food (sorry, FAST food, heh) and have a gander at what you really look like.

Let’s start yesterday!

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